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Dad Talk: Embarrassing Moments

(The Twiglet’s Dad)

Kids are embarrassing. We all know this and we have all been the victim of their embarrassing moments. Generally, however, these moments usually become funny memories that you bank to use against them when they are older…probably on their wedding day.

The twins have caused many moments of embarrassment for Kate and I over the years. When they were just babies and only a few weeks old one of them was getting their nappy changed by Kate’s aunty. Before she had time to put her clean nappy on the baby she decided to curl out a new one on her leg like a Play-doh machine. That was a fun moment. Then there was the time we went to soft play and Ruby decided that part of the game she was playing was to “have a sleepover” so took off all of her clothes. Our friends little boy came and told us “Ruby is naked” and we just laughed it off and said “No she isn’t”. But, she was! She was stark naked in the middle of soft play running around without a care in the world. Funny now but at the time was a little bit mortifying. But the most embarrassing moment happened when a couple of years ago. I shall set the scene…

We were in our local Lidl. We have been going there since the twins were born as we can walk there from our house. Most of the staff in there knew us and most of them still work there so have seen the twins grow up. At the time there was a member of staff who worked there who I shall call “Mary”. Mary was a transgender woman who was going through her transition. She was a really nice woman and was always polite and helpful and very friendly. When the twins were about 4 years old they went through this phase of asking shop workers questions. They always asked the same ones:

“What’s your name?”

This usually got a response and they would be asked their names and they would tell them. They would then ask:

“What’s your job?”

This would usually get a response such as “I work here” or “I do lots of things in the shop”. Then they would ask:

“What is your Mammy and Daddy’s name?”

This one sometimes got a response but sometimes just got laughed at. It is an odd question but a one that, we felt, was inoffensive coming out of the mouths of kids.

One day we were served by Mary. I was speed packing at the end of the till when the twins decided they would ask their usual questions. And first up was:

“What’s your name?”

Mary replied with:

“I am Mary”

To which one of the twins replied with:

“But Mary is a girls name. You aren’t a girl. You’re a boy”

I can honestly say I have never packed so bloody quick in my life. If you have ever shopped in Aldi or Lidl you know you have to pack quick and this was definitely my record. Mary’s face sort of dropped and she gave me a look as if it was all my fault. I distracted the twins by changing the subject, paid, apologised to Mary and I ran out of there as fast as I could. I was mortified! I am sure Mary saw the funny side of it as kids just say it like it is but I am sure it was just as embarrassing for her at the time as it was for me – if not more so. Strangely, I haven’t seen Mary since that day which, I hope, is pure coincidence.

So – Dadsquad – what is the most embarrassing thing your kids have done to you in public? Discuss…

(Daddy McDadface)

With Wee Girl not being quite 3 there is a limit to the damage she can do.

However…

She did go through a phase, which lasted about 6 months, of every time we walked past someone in the street pointing and saying “What’s that?!?”

(askyerfather)

Yo mother is…

As they get older, the embarrassments don’t lessen, they just get more challenging as you lose the ability to control their influences.

My oldest is 10 and in the playground at the moment they are telling ‘yo mama’ jokes. I don’t know who started this, but it’s swept through the year. Efforts to stamp it out has only made it more forbidden and exciting, so now they are shouting these jokes at each other across roads and open spaces as they walk home from school. All the while us parents are trying to remain stern  – and not laugh at the funny ones!

So far my kids have been  good at not telling any of these jokes in public after speaking to them about how some people may be offended.

HOWEVER….Oh god however….

My 3 yr old is like a sponge and is obviously listening to the all the kids joking back and forth. This morning, while walking up to school, as a group of kids cycled past yelling ‘yo mama is so fat…’ a rather large lady scootered past and my three year old YELLED:

‘ Yo mama, she so fat, nobody is laughing but the pavement is cracking up’.

Never have I been SO mortified (but also a little impressed that he remembered a joke and used it in context).

p.s. If you want to hear some good ‘yo mama jokes, I now have a ton .

(One Hull of a Dad)

These are all hilarious and I have a few embarrassing moments but mostly they’re of my wife being embarrassed which is all the better. When Joseph was younger, every time my wife went to a public toilet and had Joseph with her, he would shout really loud “uuhh that stinks! Are you having a big dump?”. According to her, every time she went to public toilets she wasn’t having a dump so this made it more hilarious.

Joseph also had a habit of when he was in a trolley in Asda he would look up at my wife and then squeeze her nipple and shout Titties! at the top of his voice.

He definitely did not learn either of these things from me.

(The Twiglet’s Dad)

Kids eh! Who’d have ’em! I am sure we may revisit this subject in the future as I am sure the children will continue to embarrass us in many a way.

Do your kids embarrass you? Share your embarrassing stories in the comments.

Good talk Dadsquad

Until next time….Hooooooo!

 

Dad Talk: Random Info

(The Twiglet’s Dad)

So, Dadsquad, for this Dad Talk I thought I would ask you 5 random questions so that our readers can learn a bit more about us and who we are. I’m not going to throw them at you without answering them myself though so I’ll go first. Here goes…

1: Which movie do you absolutely love that most people tend to hate?

Easy – “White Chicks”! It is utter trash, full of bad taste jokes that nobody would get away with these days, the acting is awful and the whole concept is just bad, bad, bad! But I love it because it is so bad. It makes me laugh for all the wrong reasons and every person I have introduced it to hates it which makes me love it more.

2: What would the title of your autobiography be? (Feel free to explain why or to just leave it as it is and let people wonder…)

“Winging It: How To Be Awesome Without Really Trying”

3: Which song is your guiltiest of guilty pleasures?

OK – I have to answer this by admitting that most of my music choices could be considered to be a “Guilty Pleasure”. My go to genre is pop music which is, in general, cheesy as can be. But a rubbish song that I totally love and will pump up the volume every time I hear it is “Bom Bom” by “Sam and the Womp”….Awesome!

4: Have you ever met a celebrity? If so – who?

I have seen many a celebrity over the years in various places. I once saw Sigourney Weaver shopping in FAO Schwartz in New York City, I once saw John Torode from MasterChef in a service station and I once checked Trinny and Susannah in to the hotel I worked in when I was younger. But when it comes to “meeting” a celebrity the best one would be Alexander Armstrong and Richard Osman when I was on “Pointless” with my Dad.  They were both really nice guys, made everyone felt relaxed, ridiculously professional and absolutely caked in make up!

5. Apart from Space Raiders which crisps are your favourite?

Oh so many to choose from but I think M&S Cheese Tasters are possibly the best cheesy poofs the world has to offer. I can devour a sharing size bag in a matter of minutes.

(One Hull of a Dad)

1: Which movie do you absolutely love that most people tend to hate?

Pretty much any Steven Seagal movie. I love his movies, even the really shit ones. Especially the ones he does now where he is much older and rounder lol. You can clearly see from his first movies that he does his own fight scenes and now he most certainly doesn’t due to the aforementioned roundness.

2: What would the title of your autobiography be? (Feel free to explain why or to just leave it as it is and let people wonder…)

One Hull of an autobiography

3: Which song is your guiltiest of guilty pleasures?

Shania Twain, That dont impress me much. This was the first single I ever bought when I was younger and I still love it today. Great song.

4: Have you ever met a celebrity? If so – who?

No, I can’t fill this space with anything, sorry lol.

5. Apart from Space Raiders which crisps are your favourite?

I love Bacon Frazzles and Nik Naks (all flavours, I’m a Nik Naks slut). A giant bag of cheesy Doritos always goes down well too.

(askyerfather)

1: Which movie do you absolutely love that most people tend to hate?

Hmmm hard one. Moonraker? Apparently it’s the worst one but as I don’t like Bond movies I quite like it, because I presumed it was a parody of itself. Apparently not.

2: What would the title of your autobiography be? (Feel free to explain why or to just leave it as it is and let people wonder…)

Detroit unleashed.

3: Which song is your guiltiest of guilty pleasures?

Oh so muc. The One and Only by Chesney Hawkes is a favourite. Oh no, I just realised it’s MMMBop by Hanson.  I’m currently listening to Everybody’s Free to wear sunscreen. I’m a 90’s teenager.#sorrynotsorry.

4: Have you ever met a celebrity? If so – who?
Many  -through various book signings over the years – but I saw Gordon the Gopher get out of a car once and that’s my favourite story. I also nearly met Eminem once when I was holidaying with a local Detroit “celebrity”.

5. Apart from Space Raiders which crisps are your favourite?

Beef monster munch (which are really just a posh space raiders).

(Daddy McDadface)

1: Which movie do you absolutely love that most people tend to hate?

Die Hard 3.  Some people think it is the worst (not counting 4 of course) but those people are idiots.

2: What would the title of your autobiography be? (Feel free to explain why or to just leave it as it is and let people wonder…)

“Can we get goats? One Man’s quest to complicate his life”

3: Which song is your guiltiest of guilty pleasures?

The Moana soundtrack.  I have literally listened to it on the way to work.  I sing at all the other cars “Make way! Make way!”

4: Have you ever met a celebrity? If so – who?

I bumped into Sir Ian McKellen at Manchester airport and I have a framed selfie of me with Eric Pollard.

5. Apart from Space Raiders which crisps are your favourite?

Solo – beef McCoys.  With a side – cheese and onion hulahoops with a slice of cheese to cut circles out with the hoops.  Seriously try it!

 

 

Dad Talk: Desert Island Discs/Books/Movies

(Daddy McDadface)

@askyerfather brought up the idea of what you would need if you were stranded on a desert island.  Other than beer and Bear Grylls we thought about 5 books, movies and albums that would get you through it.  Here is mine:

5 Books:

  1. How to Survive on a Desert Island
  2. Anything by Terry Pratchett with Sam Vimes in
  3. 1984 by George Orwell (to cheer me up)
  4. The Element by Sir Ken Robinson
  5. The Bible (always wanted to read it, never got past Cain and Abel)

5 Movies:

  1. Die Hard 3
  2. The Fifth Element
  3. Inception
  4. Hanna
  5. Die Hard 3 (you’d need two copies in case one breaks)

5 Albums:

  1. Concrete Schoolyard by Jurassic 5
  2. Panic Prevention by Jamie T
  3. Treats by Sleigh Bells
  4. Brothers by The Black Keys
  5. Twenty One Pilots by Twenty One Pilots

(askyerfather)   

5 books:

  1. Timebends – Arthur Miller
  2. The Stand -Stephen King
  3. Assassins Apprentice – Robin Hobb
  4.  Lord of the Rings Trilogy – J.R Tolkien.
  5. The practical man’s book of things to make and do (1946 edition, the one where they are getting excited about electric lightbulbs).

5 movies:

  1. Amelie
  2. Lord of the Rings – Fellowship of the Ring.
  3. Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure.
  4. Wayne’s World.
  5. E.T

5 albums:

  1. New Jersey – Bon Jovi
  2. Little Stars – Kate Rusby.
  3. Greatest Hits -Poison
  4. Best of the Levellers – Levellers
  5. Peace – Instrumental collection.

(The Twiglet’s Dad)

5 Books:

  1. Holes by Louis Sachar
  2. It by Stephen King
  3. The Chaos Walking Trilogy by Patrick Ness
  4. Animal Farm by George Orwell
  5. Me, Me, Me by Charlotte Crosby (I have never read this but I feel I would need some light, random relief that is unintentionally funny)

5 Movies:

  1. Jurassic Park
  2. Halloween
  3. Donnie Darko
  4. Little Shop of Horrors (the one with Rick Moranis)
  5. The Hunchback of Notre Dame

5 Albums:

I find this difficult as I am not much of “album person” – I generally just prefer songs. So I am totally cheating and listing 5 compilation albums that would cover all bases…

  1. Clubland 100% Euphoric (for when I want to get my groove on)
  2. Power Ballads: The Greatest Driving Anthems in the World…Ever! (for when I want to sing loud)
  3. Rock’n’Roll Love Songs (for when I want to have some light background music whilst firing up the BBQ and cooking some coconuts)
  4. Greatest Ever 80s Pop Anthems (for when I need some cheese)
  5. Party Time! 50 Classic Party Tracks (for when I need “D:Ream” to give me a little pep talk through the power of “Things Can Only Get Better”…and also so I can do the “Saturday Night” dance)

(OneHullofaDad)

5 Books:

  1. How to make a cruise ship out of sand and twigs
  2. The Hunter by Tom Wood
  3. Any book from the Jack Reacher series by Lee Child
  4. Bravo Two Zero by Andy McNab
  5. The Crucifix Killer by Chris Carter

5 Movies:

  1. Die Hard Trilogy set (I’ve got our backs lads)
  2. Instructional video on how to make a cruise ship out of sand and twigs
  3. The Negotiator
  4. Training Day
  5. The Bone Collector

5 Albums:

  1. Nickelback – Here and Now
  2. Alanis Morrisette – Jagged little pill
  3. Def Leopard – Hysteria
  4. Driving Rock Anthems
  5. The very best of sailing in a cruise ship made out of sand and twigs

(The Twiglet’s Dad)

An interesting selection of books, movies and albums there. I am particularly intrigued by everything to do with sailing in a cruise ship made out of sand and twigs.

Maybe next time we could do 5 books, movies and albums that we would send to a desert island in the hopes that we never see it again…I predict 4 copies of that awful 5th “Die Hard” movie being sent there……

Until next time…

The Dadsquad

 

 

Dad Talk: Was It Always That Bad?

(The Twiglet’s Dad)

If you read our posts regularly you will know that we are big movie fans and that I am a huge movie fan. For this post I want us to discuss movies that we loved when we were kids but that as a grown up you realise are utter trash. Talk about as many as you like. I have three:

My Girl:

What a piece of shit this is! It came out in 1991 when I was 10 so I am guessing I saw this when I was about 11 or 12 when the local video shop got it in (remember, back then it took forever for films to come out on video). I think I was at that age where I was still a kid but I was starting to grow up a bit so I thought that this was sophisticated and mature. I dread to think how many times I watched it in total. I then watched this just the other week and, my God, what a load of shite! Pure drivel from start to finish, corny as and, if I am honest, a pretty weak movie with very little substance. Shite!

Flight of the Navigator:

This is one of those movies that I think was a victim of technology. At the time the special effects were amazing and I think the whole “children’s sci-fi” genre was a relatively unheard of concept. I remember my brother and I would watch this over and over and over again and think it was the best thing ever made. Watching this as a grown up I have realised it is pretty poor. The story is basic, nothing really happens and it is really, really, really slow!!!!!! Really slow! And dull! Shite!

A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge

When I was a kid we had the coolest local video shop called “Leo’s”. The guy who owned it, Leo, knew all of our parents and because of that he used to let us rent videos that we probably shouldn’t have. By the time I was 10 or 11 I had seen a boat load of horror movies. Some of them were brilliant (Friday the 13th) and some were just awful (Puppet Master) but one series that I remember loving was the “Elm Street” series. Leo had the first 4 in and quite often my friends and I would rent them all and have a binge fest (you see, we’ve been binging shit since the 80s) and I remember that I loved them all. Having watched the entire series, including the remake, over the course of a weekend just earlier this year I cannot believe how shite the 2nd one is! Freddy is hardly in it, it has really weird death scenes and seems really disconnected from the rest of the series! Shite! (And thank fudge the 3rd and 4th ones are just as good as I remember).

So, DadSquad, what movies did you love as a kid that you now realise are shite? Over to you….

askyerfather

Twiglets Dad, YOU ARE SO WRONG about Flight of the Navigator. We re-watched it recently and I actually thought it had stood up to the test of time remarkably well. Kids loved it, I still loved it. Yup, that was a wrong call, my friend. Wrong wrong wrong 🙂

Anyway, my choice of shit movies I loved as a kid.

Transformers the movie:

Yeah, it’s not good, but then I watch the new ones and it seems not so bad after all.

Masters of the universe:

Oh my G**. Dolph Lundgren is NOT an actor but that’s the least of this movie’s problems. It’s hard to build a movie around what is basicaly lazy advertising for toys. They couldn’t even be bothered with names. This one can change faces what shall we call him? Many- Faces. This one is a man. He is the hero. What shall we call him? HE-MAN. This one is like a medieval man-at-arms who guards the castle. What shall we call him? Oh who cares, we just want to sell the toys…man-at-arms. One last thing. The baddie is a skeleton…

As a kid you don’t notice these things but as an adult you really do. How can you build a good film around that? Answer: You can’t, you really really can’t.

(One Hull of a Dad)

So, other than Transformers I have seen none of the movies mentioned above. I sometimes joke that I was locked in a cupboard for my childhood. Now I think that may have been true!

Power Rangers The Movie!

I loved this film as a kid, I couldn’t wait to see it and it was one of my favourite movies for ages. Watched it again with my son the other night and, well, it’s shite. Utter shite! God, kids are stupid, or at least I was for thinking that was good.

Halloween

I used to enjoy all of these films when I was a teenager, they were the right mixture of suspense and a good old fashioned killing spree. Sadly now they are just a bit poor. I can’t bring myself to watch any so-called “horror” movies now, just because I literally don’t find them scary. Watching Mr Tumble dress up as a washerwoman, now that is scary!!

(Daddy McDadface) 

The Land Before Time

Urgh. Depressing.  Hate the style.  Dinosaurs cannot speak.

Space Jam

As a kid I loved two things.  Bugs Bunny and basketball.  This film does provide a very strong show of animation mixed with real footage and stars the greatest basketball legend of all time (Tasmanian Devil) but, it is now, in fact, pap.

Free Willy

What a story! What emotion! But that kid’s hair has not aged well.  Oh and all the animal cruelty stuff too. Not cool.

The Mighty Ducks

Growing up in Scotland and not being very good at sports this film gave me a lot of hope. Maybe, just maybe, people would start playing Ice Hockey in Scotland (it’s quite cold) and that guy would coach us and it would be amazing.  I loved that film.  Alas on recent viewing it’s appeal died with my skating dreams.

(The Twiglet’s Dad)

Some interesting choices amongst that and some disagreements which is always a good thing. Personally I still love the original “Halloween” and watch it quite regularly. And I love “Masters of the Universe”….this thing still scares the shit out of me…

Karg

Such a freaky dude!

What movies did you watch as a kid that you thought were awesome but as an adult you realise are terrible? Drop us a comment or tweet us and discuss.

Until next time…

The Dadsquad

 

Dad Talk: Movie Franchises

(The Twiglet’s Dad)

OK DadSquad – let’s talk movie franchises. There are so many out there these days. Every other movie released these days tends to be a sequel or a prequel or a midquel or a sidequel or whatever the hell these Hollywood producers come up with. And that is the focus for this Dad Talk.

I decided to go down a different route with this Dad Talk and rather than talk about our favourite franchises I want us to rank them. I have picked 10 movie franchises which all have at least 3 movies within their series including spin offs. They are:

  • Star Wars
  • The Fast and the Furious
  • Marvel Cinematic Universe
  • Die Hard
  • James Bond
  • Harry Potter
  • X Men / Wolverine
  • Jurassic Park
  • Indiana Jones
  • Terminator

What I want you to do is rank these in order from 1 to 10 starting with your favourite franchise from the selection and your least favourite (I won’t say worst as they are all pretty awesome). You don’t need to justify your reasons or give any explanations. I will then work out their combined scores and rankings using a very sophisticated system that I have designed all by myself. I will do my ranking first….here goes:

  1. Jurassic Park
  2. Marvel Cinematic Universe
  3. X Men / Wolverine
  4. Die Hard
  5. The Fast and The Furious
  6. Harry Potter
  7. Terminator
  8. Indiana Jones
  9. James Bond
  10. Star Wars

Over to you DadSquad…

(askyerfather)

Ok this is a hard one due to the later movies in the franchise being terrible and thus affecting their ranking. Original Star Wars would be 1 but the prequels would see them plummet in the rankings. Same with Jurassic Park. Hollywood has ruined all the classics with their preoccupation with making a fast buck. Anywhoo…

  1. Harry Potter
  2. Star Wars
  3. Indiana Jones
  4. Die Hard
  5. Jurassic Park
  6. Terminator
  7. Bond
  8. X-MEN/Wolverine
  9. Marvel universe.
  10. The fast and the Furious.

One you missed was Lord of the Rings which they effectively franchised when they made movies of Hobbits doing extra stuff and threw in Kate from Lost.

Oh and Pirates of the Carribean. Four movies nobody asked for !!

(One Hull of a Dad)

Here is my list, I’m a big superhero fan so it’s probably easy to guess what my number 1 is. I’m disappointed in myself that Die Hard isn’t first but the last two shouldn’t have been so shit. Indiana Jones and Harry Potter are last on the list because dare I say it, I’ve never seen a single one! there I said, don’t banish me from dadsquad, please!

  • Marvel universe.
  • Bond
  • Die Hard
  • Star Wars
  • X-MEN/Wolverine
  • The fast and the Furious.
  • Jurassic Park
  • Terminator
  • Harry Potter
  • Indiana Jones

(Daddy McDadface)

Rich you’ve never seen Indiana Jones? Think that counts at an instabanish?

Can’t beat Die Hard. Yes it got ridiculous but who doesn’t want to see a evil helicopter taken down by a car?  Jurrasic Park got better in some ways.  Terminator 2 is the greatest film ever made (bar Die Hard 3) so that pulls up their franchise for me.  Unfortunately Daniel Radcliffe (I am sure he is a lovely man) did not match my mental image of the books I once loved so Potter is banished to last place.

  • Die Hard
  • Terminator
  • Star Wars
  • Jurassic Park
  • Indiana Jones
  • James Bond
  • X Men / Wolverine
  • Marvel Cinematic Universe
  • The Fast and The Furious
  • Harry Potter

(The Twiglet’s Dad)

Now that is done I can tally. I have used a really sophisticated system (not) where I award 10 points to the franchise picked as number 1 and 1 point to the one picked as number 10 from each selection. So the rankings are as follows:

  • 10th – The Fast and the Furious – 14 points
  • =8th – Harry Potter – 18 points
  • =8th – Indiana Jones – 18 points
  • 7th – James Bond – 20 points
  • =5th – Terminator – 21 points
  • =5th – X Men / Wolverine – 21 points
  • 4th – Marvel Cinematic Universe – 24 points
  • 3rd – Star Wars – 25 points
  • 2nd – Jurassic Park – 27 points
  • 1st – Die Hard – 32 points

So there you go – the Dadsquad have picked “Die Hard” as their favourite movie franchise with a whopping 32 points out of 40! I am not surprised! It is EPIC! Yippee-ki-ay mo….

My two surprises – How low “Harry Potter” scored and how high “Jurassic Park” scored. “Jurassic Park” is my all time favourite movie so I awarded it 10 points (as I love them all) but I didn’t think it would get many more. Really expected a lot more love for “Harry Potter”

We will be holding two polls this weekend so check out @hashtagdadsquad on Twitter over Saturday and Sunday for more details.

Until next time…

I can’t wait for Kim Kardashian on Cbeebies

If I see another tweet about Tom Hardy or any other beautiful man on Cbeebies I am going to say “urrrgh” quietly under my breath.

To put my thoroughly British anger into context I shall tell a story.

I mainly work with woman.  One day I went into the break out room (I know right, wish we bloody could) where we all eat our lunch to find two half-naked men staring at me.

Now, to lessen the dramatics it was their top halves and they were photos from a trashy magazine.  They had been carefully ripped out and left on the table for all to enjoy.

I exclaimed my dismay and was met with “Oh it’s just a bit of fun! Chill out!”

Now…it really…isn’t.

I asked what they would think if I left photos of topless woman lying on the table.  They all agreed they wouldn’t mind.  When in fact they would and I would be without a job.

Because men don’t have any pointy out bits up top, this kind of behaviour in our society is deemed innocent and “just a bit of fun”.

Well…it really…isn’t.

Record numbers of boys/men are suffering from mental health issues, many of which are linked to body image and their perception of self-worth.

Because I am a man, am I not allowed to be made to feel inadequate by pictures of ripped models under my sandwiches?  Because I am a man, I am supposed to laugh off things said to me, that if I had said to a woman I would be jobless?  Do I not get to feel uncomfortable and threatened?

So imagine I tweet the title of this post.  How is it different?  How many followers would I lose?

I have no problem with Cbeebies tweeting out “You’re welcome” along with pictures of Tom Hardy and 1000’s of people saying “Whoo!” “Made my night!” as long as they do the same with the next attractive woman they have on.

In summary:

  1. I don’t think Kim Kardashian is going on Cbeebies.
  2. If we want sexism to stop we all need to help.

Daddy McDadface

15 Summer Movies of 2017

(The Twiglet’s Dad)

I love going to the cinema…so much so that I would say it is my hobby. Very rarely does a week go by where I don’t visit the cinema and it has been known for me to go 3 or 4 times in a week. I don’t like watching movies at home as I feel I don’t pay attention but at the cinema the movie has my undivided attention and I am not distracted by Twitter.

Naturally because of that I am probably going to blog about movies on a regular basis (but not all the time as I’m not Jonathan Ross) and this is one of them. It is now almost the end of May and we are in what us movie buffs call “Blockbuster Season”. So, without further ado I present to you my…

Top Fifteen Summer Movies That I Can’t Wait To See 2017”

Cinema

(These movies are all released in the UK between June and September 2017 and my opinions are based on pure assumption. They are in order of release as opposed to the order in which I want to see them. Movies released in May and earlier are not included…so if you haven’t already seen “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2” then get your ass to your local cinema and see it! It is awesome!!! To keep it simple I will discuss these movie “Twitter Style” in 140 characters or less.)

Wonder Woman (June 2nd 2017)

Director: Patty Jenkins Starring: Gal Gadot, Robin Wright, Chris Pine

First female lead superhero movie in many years. Looks a lot lighter and brighter than the other DC movies. Gal Gadot is in it. She’s hot.

The Mummy (June 9th 2017)

Director: Alex Kurtzman Starring: Tom Cruise, Sofia Boutella, Annabelle Wallis

First in the newly rebooted “Universal Monsters Universe” series of movies. Tom Cruise is in it so will probably be bonkers but fun.

Rough Night (June 16th 2017)

Director: Lucia Aniello Starring: Scarlett Johansson, Zoe Kravitz, Kate McKinnon

Touted as “this year’s Bridesmaids”…not a bad thing. Scar-Jo doing comedy for a change. Kate McKinnon and Jillian Bell are funny too.

Despicable Me 3 (June 30th 2017)

Director: Kyle Balda +2 Starring: Steve Carrell, Kristen Wiig, Trey Parker

Gru and the Minions are back. This time Gru has a brother called Dru who tries to get him to be evil again. I’m sure the twins will love it

The House (June 30th 2017)

Director: Andrew J Cohen Starring: Will Ferrell, Amy Poehler, Allison Tolman

I love Amy Poehler. I like Ferrell too. They’ve teamed up to make a movie about an underground casino they open in their basement. I’m sold

Spider-man: Homecoming (July 7th 2017)

Director: Jon Watts Starring: Tom Holland, Robert Downey Jr, Marisa Tomei

Spider-man! ’nuff said!

War For the Planet Of The Apes (July 14th 2017)

Director: Matt Reeves Starring: Andy Serkis, Judy Greer, Woody Harrelson

Loved the 1st one. 2nd one was decent if a bit too serious. This one looks serious too but gotta see how it ends. Plus, you know, monkeys.

Wish Upon (July 20th 2017)

Director: John R Leonetti Starring: Sherilynn Fenn, Joey King, Shannon Purser

Horrors released in “Blockbuster Season” usually do well. This looks vanilla but will probably be a hit. I’ll go see it as I like horrors

Dunkirk (July 21st 2017)

Director: Christopher Nolan Starring: Tom Hardy, Cillian Murphy, Mark Rylance

Christopher Nolan doing a war movie. You know it’ll be epic and well done. I’ll see this one with my Dad. Randomly Harry Styles is in it.

Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie (July 28th 2017)

Director: David Soren Starring: Jordan Peele, Kevin Hart, Nick Kroll

This looks crackers! The twins want to see it and, I’ll admit, the trailer made me laugh. Plus I kinda like Kevin Hart.

Valerian And The City Of A Thousand Planets (August 4th 2017)

Director: Luc Besson Starring: Cara Delevingne, Dane DeHaan, Clive Owen

Torn with this one! I love Luc Besson! I am not a fan of that Dane DeHaan though! I don’t like his face! But this looks intriguing enough

Annabelle: Creation (August 11th 2017)

Director: David F Sandberg Starring: Miranda Otto, Philippa Coulthard, Stephanie Sigman

The latest in the “Conjuring Universe” series of movies. A prequel to the last “Annabelle” movie. Will probably be rubbish but looks OK

The Dark Tower (August 18th 2017)

Director: Nikolaj Arcel Starring: Idris Elba, Matthew McConaughey, Katheryn Winnick

Stephen King’s epic book series finally gets an adaptation. A solid cast and good writers are on board so they could pull it out of the bag

It (September 8th 2017)

Director: Andres Muschietti Starring: Bill Skarsgard, Jaeden Lieberher, Finn Wolfhard

King again. My favourite book by him. Genuinely terrifying and this adaptation looks like it could be creepy AF. Fingers crossed it delivers

Kingsman: The Golden Circle (September 29th 2017)

Director: Matthew Vaughn Starring: Taron Egerton, Channing Tatum, Halle Berry

Loved the 1st one. Matthew Vaughn is a great director. Jane Goldman is a brilliant writer. I suspect this will up the ante and be great fun

And there you have it – 15 movies I think you should see this Summer.

Thanks for reading

The Twiglet’s Dad